Buy $CEOAD
The Pond, Inc. — Office of the Chief Executive Toad
CEOAD
Annual Report to the Shareholders · “The pond has a CEO.”
PLATE I. — The Chief Executive Toad, photographed at the head of the table. The table came with the pond. The confidence came factory-installed.
CONFIDENTIAL — PLEASE DISTRIBUTE TO ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE
A letter from the CEO.
FIG. A — The CEO. Confidence: pictured. Doubt: not pictured, never hired.
Dear shareholders,
When I found this pond, it had water, weather and no direction whatsoever. The other toads were chasing flies. I want to be clear that I have never chased anything: I schedule, and the flies attend.
In my first week I held forty-one meetings, thirty-nine of which were with myself, in the reflection of my golden watch. All forty-one reached full agreement. That is the kind of alignment other ponds can only dream about.
People ask about my qualifications. I have no MBA and no Wall Street degree — I have a cream suit, an emerald shirt, and a watch worth more than the heron's entire nest. The suit has never been wrong. The watch agrees with the suit. I agree with both.
Our strategy for the coming fiscal year is unchanged, because it was approved unanimously (one vote, mine) and because it is working: the chart goes up and to the right, and I have personally instructed it to continue. The chart reports to me. Everything here reports to me. Even the moon, on paper.
One ribbit at a time,
CEOADChief Executive Toad
The Pond, Inc. — Corner Lily Pad One
P.S. — The board joins me in thanking me. The board is me.
Selected financial highlights.
All figures audited by the Chief Financial Officer, who is the Chief Executive Toad in reading glasses. No discrepancies were found, looked for, or tolerated.
| Line item | FY-2 | FY-1 | FY∞ |
|---|---|---|---|
| Flies under management1 | 12 | 40,112 | 0 |
| Meetings held2 | 0 | 6 | 0 |
| Ribbits issued, executive class | 1 | 998 | 0 |
| Lily pads (acquired, politely) | 1 | 3 | 0 |
| Pond-over-pond growth3 | — | ▲ 9% | ▲ 0% |
1 Counted personally, twice. 2 All mandatory; all his. 3 The direction was approved and does not change.
FIG. B — POND PERFORMANCE, PLOTTED BY THE CEO ON GRAPH PAPER. THE PENCIL WAS ALSO GOLD.
Corporate governance.
The Pond, Inc. maintains a rigorous separation of powers between the CEO, the CFO, the COO and the Board. They are all the same toad. The separation is vibes.
Chief Executive Toad
CEOAD
cream suit · emerald shirt · golden watch
Chief Financial Officer
CEOAD
same toad, reading glasses
Chief Operating Officer
CEOAD
same toad, standing up
The Board (1 seat)
CEOAD
quorum: him · dissent: never
Human Resources
A heron
recused (conflict of appetite)
Interns
The tadpoles
unpaid · enthusiastic · legless
Committee memberships: all of them. Succession plan: none required — toads are famously immortal when sufficiently confident. Related-party transactions: every transaction.
Items awaiting executive decision.
The CEO has stepped out to count flies. His inbox is yours. Stamp each item APPROVE or DENY — he has pre-agreed with whatever you choose, because it is what he would have chosen.
The heron requests lunch. Again. The proposed lunch is, again, you.
Inbox zero.
The pond is fully decided. He never doubted you, because he never thought about you.
The shareholder register.
The pond is full of photocopied frogs in borrowed suits. The company holds exactly one registered contract address — the one below. Read it here and nowhere else.
He signs once, in gold, and never twice. Accept no filing but this one.
How to acquire a seat.
Four filings stand between you and the boardroom. The paperwork is light. The chair is heavy with importance.
Obtain the badge
Obtain the badgeInstall Phantom on phone or browser and create a Solana wallet. Write the seed phrase on paper and file it somewhere the CEO does not chair.
⬡ Raise the capital
Buy SOL inside Phantom or transfer it from an exchange. Keep a splash spare for network fees — the pond invoices separately, and always on time.
Execute the acquisition
Open pump.fun, paste the contract address from Section 5 — that register, no other — and swap SOL for $CEOAD.
✦ Take the seat
Done — you are on the board. Follow the CEO on X for every memo, and watch the chart climb on Dexscreener. Attendance at the ribbit is mandatory and automatic.